Once again, the topic of leaked nudes is all over the media. Honestly, I feel a little bit desensitised to the issue these days- funnily enough though, it’s the lack of feeling I have about it that makes me fired up as all hell.
No prizes for guessing which aspect of the conversation I find the most ridiculous- ding ding ding, it’s the good old “well, she shouldn’t have taken or sent the photo in the first place!”. This statement is all kinds of stupid, and I’ve heard it in the form of “she was asking for it”, “she shouldn’t have been so trusting” and, my personal favourite, “what was she expecting to happen???”
Well I don’t know, usually anonymous commentator- maybe, just maybe, she expected to be able to feel like a foxy babe whether naked, or clothed, or wearing a full-bodied purple wetsuit, snap a cheeky photo of it and send it to someone she trusted without the whole flipping WORLD seeing her tatas- maybe she’s just unsuspicious like that.
I reckon I’m old enough now to state that I, like many other boys and girls in my generation, have taken and sent explicit pictures of myself. I’ve sent photos to my highschool boyfriends (once I accidentally sent a photo to a highschool boyfriend’s mum, whoops!), I’ve sent photos to people I’ve been intimate with, I’ve sent undies shots to my friends that I wouldn’t want my teachers or boss to see, and my partner gets enough booty pics that he genuinely doesn’t even respond to half of them anymore.
And I fucking LOVE it. It makes me feel sexy, it makes me feel confident whether I’m rocking the “I’ve been working out for three whole days in a row now” or the “look at this curvy deliciousness” and it makes me happy- and it is well within my right as a consenting and educated woman to expect that if and when I, or anyone else, sends a photo to a partner, friend, bob’s bloody uncle*, that it is implied that the image is for them, not for their mates or random desperados on the internet to oogle.
Does the fact that I’m a fan of an intimate photoshoot mean that I don’t worry an old one will pop up on the internet one day? Hell no. I mean, it’d be pretty gross for anyone to hold onto hotshots from 4+ years ago (somehow I don’t think Patrick would be into releasing the goodies he gets), but I am aware that it could happen- and if it ever did, it would be really horrible- and I would refuse to take the blame for some dickhead choosing to use my trust as a twisted social step-up.
Those throwing the blame at the girls (or guys) who took the photos of themselves really do need to stop and think- who is ruining this good fun time for everyone- is it the person who took a private photo of themselves, or is it the person who splashed it all over town? Stop trying to control my, our, sexuality .
At the very least, please don’t have the audacity to be disappointed when you’ve been part of the movement making happysnappers so uncomfortable, so suspicious with showing themselves off to the people that they choose, that they keep it all for themselves- and if you are one of said snappers, please don’t let these lame killjoys stop you from being your fine-ass self and sharing it with whoever you like- I’ll cross my fingers with you, that the ones we gift with our attention and bum shots are as lovely as they seem.