Two things about me that are true: number one, I can be a pretty laid-back-to-the-point-of-slack human being.
Okay, that’s not entirely accurate: when I’m passionate about something just try and stop the fire under my belly. I’m up til a million-o-clock, working my big bum off to make it happen.
Everything else, though, from doing the dishes to applying makeup, and I just can’t get into it- I’d rather read a book, or watch some netflix, start a business or spoil my puppies or my maaaan.
Anyway. That brings me to number two: I am a massive wuss.
So when I balance out the idea of not having to put a face on all summer to feel confident in my own skin (it only washes off in the ocean anyway!) with my fear of needles and pain and anything mildly unpleasant, stepping out of my comfort zone and into the capable hands of a gorgeous SILK Laser cosmetic nurse to undergo some real-life cosmetic injectable treatments won out- just.
Along with a very subtle amount of filler gracing me with a pair of naturally plump and pretty lips I thought that I may as well get something done that I’d been meaning to for ages: I have a big ol’ worry line in between my eyebrows, and for as long as I can remember I’ve wanted to smooth it out and stop carrying the weight of the world where everyone can see it.
And so, my SILK journey began.
As mentioned, I’m a wuss. I had heaps of questions about the treatment in the weeks leading up to it- some of which could be answered with a quick google: ‘will my lips look like giant sausagey bananas?’ (no, you goose. well, apparently sometimes it happens. but probably not), ‘is there a way to make this completely painless and almost as much fun as a trip to Greenhills was back in the day’ (uhh- not really- you’re getting injections. in your face).
Other queries could only be answered by the SILK team themselves- luckily, they were always only a call or an email away and seemed to feel like no question was a ridiculous one- guess I got those out of the way with Google, haha.
WebMD type sites had a whole lot of anecdotal information about ways to make the process hurt less- from staying away from caffeine and alcohol to eating lots of pineapple in the leadup to having a soothing playlist ready should the going get tough. So, I did it all and rolled up on the day as ready as I’d ever be.
The Day (dun-dun-duuuun!)
The morning of my treatment, I was kind of stressing but also kind of excited: like when you’re getting a tattoo and you know it’ll be a bit sore but also awesome- and I was on an absolute emotional high because the YES VOTE had just come through. I can see you trying to work it out: yep, I’ve been chatting and talking and laughing and being hopeless on my Instagram stories for two weeks with ‘work done’, and you probably didn’t even notice!
Anyway, early afternoon I made my way to the SILK clinic in Hyde Park (fancy), and sat down with a patient, understanding goddess of a SILK nurse. She spent waaay too much time answering every question I had and more while making sure I completely understood the procedure. By the time we hopped onto Skype to get the okay from a doctor to undergo my lip fillers and the muscle relaxant for my dreaded forehead wrinkle, I was more relaxed than I ever could have imagined being. Just understanding what it would feel like, how my face would change, how much we were using (.5 of a vial of lip filler and around twenty units of anti-wrinkle injections) and all of my nurse’s experience and know-how I felt way too in-control to freak out.
Just before I sat down in the chair I had my ‘before’ photos done- I have to admit that I had a little bit of a ‘how on earth will I look when this is all done’ in that moment, but the time was here, my lips were covered in numbing cream to the point that I had that funny-after-dentist-wobbly-face feel and I was good to go.
My SILK nurse told me that I might feel better if I didn’t watch her get the needles and things ready, but being a #truerebel and also #seriouslynosy I couldn’t help myself. Honestly, seeing how tiny they were saw the last little bit of nervousness slink away. I spun some Bon Iver on my phone, popped my earbuds in, lay back in the chair and let her do her thing.
I had my forehead wrinkle taken care of first- a couple of tiny, quick injections that felt a bit like little ant-bites. That part felt like it was over before it began: a tiny ting-zap-bing and we were done!
I had already been told not to expect results straight away, that it would take up to a week for the formula to settle into my muscles and chill them out and that for the next day or so I was to frown as often as I could to make sure it reached all the bits it was supposed to- there went my idea of that crazy Hollywood image, injections and then bam never being able to move your face again!
Lips were next- they were aiming for the 1:2 ratio, where your top lip would make up one third of your lippiness, your bottom two thirds and all together some well-proportioned goodness.
This meant two injections in my top lip, and three in my bottom- and then another quick one in my top to balance out the filler as it did its thing.
Did it hurt? Yeah, a little.
But I’d got myself sooooo worked up over just how much it might hurt that it was nothing in comparison! The first time the needle went in I actually said ‘Oh. Is that it?’. I mean, there are probably more pleasant things to do with your day than have things going into your skin, but in the big scheme of things it wasn’t so bad at all.
Even though I knew my lips would be subtle, I was still really impressed as soon as they were done. They looked like- well, like my lips, only a tiny bit fuller and richer. They didn’t look plastic-fantastic or like I could up and join a very wealthy, very well-known family of reality TV personalities. They were me but a little bit more, and when I smiled with them I saw a little extra happy.
That night they swelled a little more but I was out to dinner with my friends (who would absolutely tell me if I looked ridiculous) and they assured me that they couldn’t tell at all.
I had no bruising or excessive swelling (take THAT, WebMD!) which I was really happy about, and just like that, life went on.
Patrick– I was second-to-most nervous about what Patrick would think. He’s the sort of sweet, supportive partner that showers me with ‘I like you the most without makeup’ (lucky, cause I’m a dag and don’t love wearing it) and had made it clear that he thought it was a kind of silly thing for me to go and do.
The result- ‘Oh yeah. Looks good. Almost the same. A bit bigger. Yeah, you look great- can you stop looking at yourself so we can get some dinner, please?’
Mum- This is who I was most nervous about- Mum gets a bit funny about me ‘messing with her beautiful creation’ (thanks mum), and I didn’t want her to think I didn’t love the me that she made- I just wanted a slightly smoother forehead and lips that were a smidge less thin so that I could wake up, feel great and go. That’s all.
The result- I visited her the day after my treatment, and I had the tiniest mark on my lip where I’d had one of the injections because I couldn’t stop playing with it. She noticed my giggliness as soon as I rocked up, and when I asked her what was different about me after five minutes of chatting the only thing she could find to point out was the red mark, asking if I’d cut my lip earlier in the week or something. If mum couldn’t notice, it must’ve been low-key! When I told her I had the fillers and my wrinkle done, she tilted her head, studied my face and told me I looked really good.
My Grandparents- I’m only adding this one in cause I know Grandma reads my blog and follows me on Instagram (hey Grandma!) and I want to remind her that I dropped in for a visit three days after my treatment, at which point I could barely frown if I tried and my lips were at their peak lusciousness, and neither of them had a clue.
Crazy world we’re living in, huh!
Everyone else- The only people who’ve asked or commented are people who knew I was having the treatments or who I told. Every single person without exception, from my closest friends to people I’d met a few days prior, told me that they would have no idea if I hadn’t said something: that they might have thought something was a little different but would never have been able to place it.
Then there are those of you reading this with horror now, not being able to get the idea of standard societal norms out of your head. I’d like to reassure you, heart to heart, that I have never felt as comfortable in my own skin as I do right now. I’ve tried all sorts to boost my self-esteem, from makeup by the pile to eyelash extensions and fake tans and misspelled diet and exercise books for $80 a go, and these tiny little changes have me feeling a million.
And that, to me, was absolutely worth a couple of little pinpricks and a million hours of research.
*please note- the featured image of this post are before-and-after shots, taken a few hours apart. see if you can spot the difference! x